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Open publication - Free publishing - More pop culture

Cowboys and Aliens...

I just felt I should share this with y'all. It is a phenomenal piece of animation, based on a fun story by a great author.

It Was a Dark and Silly Night

Also, thank you to Cartoon Brew for pointing me towards it in the first place.

Four Your Consideration...

Welcome, to the fourth V-Duel between Joel and Mark.

me: Hey Joel...

Joel: hey mark...

me: What was that movie you kept on throwing at me last duel?

Joel: the room

let me send you a beautiful link

me: NO!

Joel: ooohhh come on

you'll love it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRN9FpMkUbU&feature=channel_page

me: You...are...horrible...

Now, experience my revenge!

Joel: only the best for you

?

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSTHMxBttlU

Joel: very nice

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYZNSyP9v9M

Joel: ooohhh more!

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJOLwy7un3U

And...the coup de grace...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdcVRueT2cw

Joel: oh my

love that

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQdnbT4uXk

The sequal...

Joel: I'm gonna have to change things up here

me: Alright...No more "The Room".

Joel: deal

you ready for some jesus?

me: Uhh...

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh0ZB9OD_fg

me: WTF?

Joel: oh you got to love it

did I ever send you the bruce lee against ironman?

me: Hmm...I can't remember. I know I have seen it, however.

Back to JC...

How does it go again, turn the other cheek, or something, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2CScfyw4Jk

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgX7i0C-IK4&feature=channel_page

me: Joel...I think it's time you know just how much I hate clowns...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLEIDTUcYRs

Joel: take this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ&feature=related

me: Ahh yes...

the stuff nightmares are made of.

Speaking of nightmares, WHATCHA! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eTjxpmAv8E

Joel: almost makes you want to cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_4AxzvhCPY&feature=channel_page

me: Why...why does that exist?

Joel: haha

not sure

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC99r5yn46k

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKsfIzfwPco

and something else

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTCJ5hedcVA&feature=channel_page

can't get enough singing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_NALyl9Sr4&feature=player_embedded

me: You know...That first video was fairly disturbing.

Joel: wasn't it

me: I think we should line up our last 3 videos before things get any more disturbing.

Joel: haha

yeah you are probably right

me: You think we should shuffle them up, or just to two separate three-shots?

Joel: two separate three-shots sounds like a good thing

me: After you, then.

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uONnbrD59Lo&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLs-PkfUS2g&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC5Q8mSuXck&feature=channel_page

one more 'the room' I couldn't help myself

me: Well...we had a deal. Fortunately, I had these three gems already queued up. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfqm13ZgOCw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjbAcU7a41w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEdZrV0j6zM

...and thus ends another V-Duel. Say G'night, Joel.

Joel: G - night boys and girls!

God night!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar_k8JjVWQA

me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........................................

Joel: haha

sorry couldn't help myself

you win this round I must say

great videos

me: Thanks.

Joel: goodnight

***

me: Sorry for this late entry, Joel...but this is gonna be old if I don't submit now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5X4TSbGreA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ecartoonbrew%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded

V-Duel, the Third

12:19 PM
me: JOEL!
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A VIDEO DUEL!

12:20 PM
Joel: DUEL ON MARK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISXiFJS9D5A

12:21 PM
me: WTF?!
alright, field this one! WATCHAA!!! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERTuravilL8

12:24 PM
Joel: wow! awesome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQHo_c-fbZw

12:26 PM
me: ehh...honestly, that one was pretty weak. try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr4QBZfjtqs

12:27 PM
Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqMPifZRCLw
boom sha ca laca

12:28 PM
me: lol...5 and One Billion people.

12:29 PM
Joel: wow! cat shit one...intense

12:30 PM
me: Try this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc8NKxhww2k

12:32 PM
Joel: nice tutorial
funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_8yPap-k_s

12:38 PM
me: Age old lesson: be careful what you wish for...
Now, I can't remember what this is, but lets try it anyways: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU_reTt7Hj4

12:47 PM
Joel: oh wow
that was pretty intense
now I'll show you something terrible again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plz-bhcHryc
and for a two for your pleasure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx9CjT8DS9A

12:50 PM
me: You know what I love, Joel?

Joel: what?

12:51 PM
me: Chemistry. That's why I will implore you to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN9pioJWTk0

12:53 PM
Joel: very cool

12:54 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg
last terrible movie
and then cause that one is so short why not some random animations?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjVqrzd99VA

1:01 PM
me: Wow...that was pretty good.
I'm running out...

1:02 PM
Joel: ooohh I've got just a couple more?

me: I can do 2-3 more.
first, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsQcyhBsSjI

Joel: then 3 it must be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0Gr01uFLKM&feature=channel_page

1:03 PM
me: WTF?!?!

1:04 PM
I love this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpOPyjmB8SI

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8axisOFpiJ0
for your love of toast

me: oooh...i hate that one! :)

Joel: haha!

1:05 PM
fine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHUOZWu7soY

me: Here's my last one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drE5cHe6c3s

1:06 PM
Joel: I love 'look around you'

me: So do I.

1:07 PM
And may I mention, Ernie is a jerk. And why in the world do they share a room?
Anyways, I'm pretty certain you won with your first video.

Joel: CAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS
not gay like everyone says

1:08 PM
but yeah ernie is kinda a jerk

me: ...and they have matching beds.
...and sheets too!

Joel: like good friends do
this is my last one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q

1:11 PM
me: Speaking of cats...Robert's taking advantage of my new open door policy.

1:12 PM
Joel: I see that

1:13 PM
me: I'm gonna have to employ this guy's methods: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhUdkSHK50&NR=1

1:14 PM
Alright, are we done here?

1:15 PM
Joel: I think so

Video Duel - Part Deuce!

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkwAR1Z1AKE&eurl=http://74.125.95.132/translate_c?hl=en&sl=pt&u=http://mundogump.com.br/&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmundo%2Bgum&feature=player_embedded

boom!
12:37 PM

me: Ooh...we've started...
12:38 PM

Joel: oh we have
12:39 PM

...you ready for another

volly
12:40 PM

me: that was horrible, joel...

my turn
12:41 PM

Joel: bring it on

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo
12:42 PM

Joel: nice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM9o4VnfHJU&eurl=http://74.125.95.132/translate_c?hl=en&sl=pt&u=http://www.mundogump.com.br/page/2/&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmu&feature=player_embedded

check this out
12:43 PM

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js6rbXw_tfA

That was pretty freaky!
12:44 PM

Joel: I know right
5 minutes
12:50 PM

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YwLQSTo_ow&feature=rec-HM-rev-rn
12:51 PM

me: That was pretty good. Try THIS! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJUmwWHtSHE
12:53 PM

Joel: not bad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQmK1CnwOUI
12:55 PM

me: LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0feH-2SwZaI&eurl=http://www.geekologie.com/page2.php
12:56 PM

Joel: oh man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWL6j0SvqV0&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div
12:59 PM

me: Oh, pac-man..always poppin pills.

Joel: always

me: is it my turn?
1:00 PM

Joel: oh yeah
1:01 PM

me: Hmm...I hope this doesn't seem too redundant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0GG1IpRLxA&eurl=http://www.geekologie.com/page3.php
1:02 PM

Joel: booom sha ca la ca!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRZmmvP5nos&feature=channel
1:05 PM

me: Oh...you like Michael McDonald, huh? Well...CHECK THIS! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX1Nh6c80wo
5 minutes
1:10 PM

Joel: oh I think you win

I'm love jimmy buffet
1:11 PM

me: Oh man...I win already?

Joel: nah

I'll find something

me: Okay
1:12 PM

Joel: after this vid

me: one more each
1:14 PM

Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsQcyhBsSjI&feature=dir

me: FTW? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w
1:16 PM

Oh, Shamwow.
1:17 PM

I love their facial expressions throughout the whole song.
1:18 PM

Joel: haha! can turn into a car

me: AND give you cancer! :)
1:19 PM

Is that good for today?

Joel: looks pretty good
1:20 PM

we'll have to do this again sometime soon...when I find the best movie ever

me: lol

nice

until then, we'll have our readers decide who wins.

Joel: i like that idea
1:21 PM

me: alright! say bye to everyone, joel.

Joel: goodbye to everyone, joel
1:22 PM
say bye to everyone, mark
1:23 PM
me: Bye, and thanks for reading.
1:24 PM
(This ending got weird...I kinda wanna curse just to cut through the camp.)

Joel: bitch-tits
1:25 PM
me: ...man, now i'll have to edit this.

Joel: ha!

Aunt Jemimah in the White Castle

The checkout girl smiled. She tried not to laugh as she asked if I found everything all right.

“Uhh…yup”

Had this been any other night, any regular night, she could have very well been flirting with me. In fact, she most definitely would have been flirting. Not tonight, though. Between my confused disposition and the boxes of microwaveable sandwiches, there was only one thought in her mind: this guy is stoned. Honestly, I really couldn’t argue with her rationality.


The last four hours had been spent in front of a computer screen, answering questions in a tutorial lesson on customer service that discussed scenario after endless, insignificant scenario. The tutorial lesson was finally complete, and I had just barely passed the assessment. Standing felt foreign, with each step feeling uncontrollably bouncy and new. My head was equally spaced-out. It was time to go, but whom would I inform? All the employees present were gathered around a computer screen watching an assembly line manufactured film, where actors, plots, and camerawork were all pulled randomly from separate boxes.

“How do I leave?" the words tumbled clumsily out of my mouth.

During the computer tutorials, my arms and legs would take turns going to sleep. Prior to this, I hadn’t known that one’s tongue could go on sabbatical as well. Had I been one of the employees, I would have commended myself on the great Slingblade impression. Thankfully, one of the employees had understood what I was trying to say and pointed to a big white door plainly labeled “EXIT”.

I left the lobby and wondered if my car had been towed. My blue Sable still needed a parking pass, but the manager kept forgetting to assign one.

“Where do I park until I get a parking pass?”

“Just park in the lot. If you get ticketed, we’ll pay for it,” he said.

“Yeah, but what if they decide to tow it?” A sign from my walk to the office had danced in my memory, stating all trespassing cars would be towed.

“That probably won’t happen,” he said with questionable certainty.

My car had not been towed. It hadn’t even been ticketed. How secure is this parking lot if they don’t notice any alien automobiles?

The steering wheel shivered under my warm hands. Leaving the parking lot, I took a wrong turn and ended up driving through the customer lot entrance

My gut and my gourd growled in agreement. Though my mind may have been filled with new information, but my stomach was emptied of old meals. I craved red meat. It had been years since my tongue lashed a fast-food burger. A tug inside my skull pulled my car into a McDonald’s drive-thru.

“HiwelcometoMcDonald’sorderwheneveryou’reready.”

Here it was. That moment between anticipation and achievement where you reach the peak of desire without actually feeling fulfilled. “May I have a Big Mac?”

“Sorrywe’reallout.”

“What?”

“I’msorrythegrill’sclosedandwedon’thavenaymoreBigMacs.”

Was it the speaker or the Speaker that made the dialogue unintelligible? “I’m sorry, I can’t understand you. Could you please speak slowly?”

“The…grill…is…closed…so…there…are…no…more…Big…Macs…”

It must have been spite that split the words. “Can I just have a cheeseburger, then?”

“No cheeseburgers either.”

“Um…” My mind was a hive of African killer bees, all buzzing to get out, “…what do you have?”

“Pop, milkshakes, pie…”

“Can I just get a soda?”

“Sure, what size?”

“Small”


I pulled through the drive-thru, and paid for my small Sprite. She had lied to me, I realized as my mouth filled with the salty, sharp taste of ordinary carbonated water. They were out of soda too.

My inner wolf still howled for the repose granted only by beef. Of course, at this time of night, everything else was closed, except the grocery store


The grocery store is a nighttime haven for those suffering from sun deprivation. The aseptic lights on the ceiling illuminated the muddy tracks on the floor. In my mind, time was of the essence…mostly because it was late and I had no desire to spend the rest of my waking hours preparing a meal whose weight would set the sleepy-time trigger off in my stomach. So I marched directly to the frozen food aisle. Immediately, a pair of boxes caught my attention. A smiling Aunt Jemimah was perched next to sterling White Castle.

“Perfect…” growled my inner wolf.

Spring

To me spring seems to me just a spring board to warmer weather. With a decent change in temperature there are sure to be changes as well to our surrounding environment. Dirtier streets will appear out of no-where and there maybe a good chance my walkways in and out the door will be flooded to shoe filling depths, but with all of these problems warm weather will inflict to our day to day commutes, there will be many enjoyable times ahead. Spring is known as ‘the season,’ good or bad times ahead it jump starts life and sets in motion the change of snow to dirt, buds to leaves, caterpillars to butterflies and the list goes on.

Spring is also known for lovers. Many times I have heard ‘spring is for lovers.’ Why, I can’t really tell you. As far as it seems there is little evidence to back up this season being for lovers. As far as I can tell it seems like a good season for change, so if love isn’t with you now, let it be known that spring is for you.

‘No spring chicken’ can be heard around this time. What it means escapes me, but after a while of web searchin’ the answer becomes clear. Old people = No spring chicken.

To me, Spring isn’t something that lands on a specific date. Spring is felt. You know when you open that door and feel the cool breeze, you know when you take that deep breath of spring air, you’ll know when you hear the rustling of animal life, and you’ll feel that warmth provided by our sun once again ‘spring’ your senses into knowing that this weather will stay as another goes away.

For all of you that enjoy a good sight or two outdoors as much as I do, get ready for color! The grays turn green, the blues turn beautiful, the whites turn brown or yellow depending on where you look; Everywhere life will be ‘spring’ing up all around us. Well, depending on where you live that is…

So I’ll leave you with this.

The Season: Includes general climatic cycles, reminders of the previous season, the solstice or equinox (that is, the middle of the season), the months, time and length of day, temperature, approaching the end of the season, anticipation of the next season.

The Heavens: Includes the sky, heavenly bodies, winds, precipitation, storms, other sky phenomena, light and shade.

The Earth: Includes land forms, seascapes, fields, forests, streams, rivers, and lakes.

Humanity: Includes clothes, food and beverages, work and school, sports, recreation, the arts, illness, travel, communications, moods.

Observances: Includes sacred and secular holidays and festivals, their associated decorations, clothes, foods, and activities, and "memorial days" (death anniversaries of literary persons). The list gives specific dates; many festivals are still celebrated according to the lunar calendar, and therefore shift in relation to our Gregorian calendar--moveable feasts. They are indicated by 'about'.

Plants: Blossoming trees, foliage of trees and shrubs, garden flowers, fruits and vegetables, wildflowers and other vegetation, seaweed, fungi.

-Joel